I’ve taken my fair shots at the opposite sex over the years so turn about is fair play. I received an email from a female co-worker which was titled
“Fall Classes for Men at the Adult Training Center.” Of course at first I thought was serious but then I read the 14 class titles and descriptions:
1. How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays…..step-by-step with slide presentation.
2. The Toilet Paper Roll….Does it Change Itself?
3. Is It Possible To Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and
Avoiding the Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
4. Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor with Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
5. Dinner Dishes….Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
6. Loss of Identity…Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
7. Learning How to Find Things Starting With Looking In the Right
Places and Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
8. Health Watch. Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful to Your Health.
9. Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost with Real Life Testimonials.
10. Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
11. Learning to Live….Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
12. How to Be the Ideal Shopping Companion with Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
13. How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy….Remembering Birthdays,
Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re
Going to Be Late.
14. The Stove/Oven…What It is and How It’s Used”
There was also a note attached. Due to the complexity and difficulty level of the classes they are limited to 8 participants maximum.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Media Glare...Or Not To Glare...
It’s funny how fans of local pro sports teams moan when an athlete rejects the opportunity to play in the New York or Philadelphia area because of the intense scrutiny they face. For some playing in a market with less media
exposure and fan expectations is actually an easy choice even if it means leaving dollars on the table. Other athletes feel they are up to the challenge
and with the help of a big contract will decide to tackle the “Big Apple” or
“City of Brotherly Love.”
You only have to look at what’s happened during this baseball season to see
that while winning is important sometimes the price just might be too high.
The Yankees, Mets and Phillies are all off to slower starts than expected for a variety of reasons including injuries, underachieving performances and some questionable personnel decisions. However with about 75% of the schedule still left all three are very much alive when it comes to division and wild card races but many fans are acting like the season is all but shot. To
add to that there has been quite a bit of negativity associated with the teams
which has made for a rather depressing spring.
Let’s start with the Yankees and their 26 World Championships. Getting to the playoffs every year since 1996 wasn’t good enough so manager Joe Torre was replaced by Joe Girardi. Word was that Torre’s spring training was like a country club so Girardi made the players work much harder….some complained and others blamed injuries and slow starts on all the hard work. Young pitchers expected to deliver have not, veteran players have looked old at times and there’s front office dissension. Across town you have a Mets team that still has not erased the memory of last season’s September collapse and the first 43 games has feature inconsistency, controversy, calls for manager Willie Randolph to be fired and a Shea Stadium atmosphere that is not exactly a home field advantage. In Philadelphia the mood has been a little better with the Flyers going late into the hockey playoffs plus the Phillies overcame a slow start last year to win a division title. However fans are getting a bit restless and slugger Ryan Howard is hearing the boo-birds for the first time and the optimism of March is being replaced with pessimism in May.
It all makes you understand a bit why life in places like St. Louis, Cincinnati
and Arizona may not be so bad after all.
exposure and fan expectations is actually an easy choice even if it means leaving dollars on the table. Other athletes feel they are up to the challenge
and with the help of a big contract will decide to tackle the “Big Apple” or
“City of Brotherly Love.”
You only have to look at what’s happened during this baseball season to see
that while winning is important sometimes the price just might be too high.
The Yankees, Mets and Phillies are all off to slower starts than expected for a variety of reasons including injuries, underachieving performances and some questionable personnel decisions. However with about 75% of the schedule still left all three are very much alive when it comes to division and wild card races but many fans are acting like the season is all but shot. To
add to that there has been quite a bit of negativity associated with the teams
which has made for a rather depressing spring.
Let’s start with the Yankees and their 26 World Championships. Getting to the playoffs every year since 1996 wasn’t good enough so manager Joe Torre was replaced by Joe Girardi. Word was that Torre’s spring training was like a country club so Girardi made the players work much harder….some complained and others blamed injuries and slow starts on all the hard work. Young pitchers expected to deliver have not, veteran players have looked old at times and there’s front office dissension. Across town you have a Mets team that still has not erased the memory of last season’s September collapse and the first 43 games has feature inconsistency, controversy, calls for manager Willie Randolph to be fired and a Shea Stadium atmosphere that is not exactly a home field advantage. In Philadelphia the mood has been a little better with the Flyers going late into the hockey playoffs plus the Phillies overcame a slow start last year to win a division title. However fans are getting a bit restless and slugger Ryan Howard is hearing the boo-birds for the first time and the optimism of March is being replaced with pessimism in May.
It all makes you understand a bit why life in places like St. Louis, Cincinnati
and Arizona may not be so bad after all.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Moving School Board Elections
It seems common sense is about to prevail in New Jersey which in itself is a significant step forward. The State Assembly on Monday approved a bill which would move school board elections from April to the general election date in November. The idea is to increase voter participation from the average 15% who now chose members of local school boards and also save money by getting rid of a costly spring Election Day. Not only that but what might be the most meaningful part of the Assembly measure is that people will no longer vote on their local school budgets unless their district is looking to exceed spending and taxing caps.
As it stands now when a school budget is defeated in April the district and towns look to see what can be cut and often by the time the budget is officially adopted it’s not much different from the one voters rejected. Under this new proposal as long as the budget stays within caps than there is nothing to vote on but if a district asks for voter support to exceed those limits then they’ll have to live by the will of the voters. As I’ve said before the school budget is the only expense we get to vote on and I believe many vote “no” just because they have the ability to do so. School Districts that are prudent in their spending should not have to ask for permission from an apathetic voting public that is looking to do anything to cut their tax dollar.
We don’t get to say how our money is spent in our local town, Trenton or Washington so why should the school budget be the lone scapegoat from an unhappy public.
While it’s often and unpaid and thankless job serving on a school board is an important position and by moving the election to November more of the voting public will no doubt have a say in the process. Yes there is some downside as it will make for a lot of election choices in some years and it could bring partisan politics into the educational mix but the truth is that’s always existed to some extent. The positive appears to far outweigh the negative and now it’s up to the State Senate to approve the bill which they are expected to do. Once that happens New Jersey will have taken a step in the right direction
As it stands now when a school budget is defeated in April the district and towns look to see what can be cut and often by the time the budget is officially adopted it’s not much different from the one voters rejected. Under this new proposal as long as the budget stays within caps than there is nothing to vote on but if a district asks for voter support to exceed those limits then they’ll have to live by the will of the voters. As I’ve said before the school budget is the only expense we get to vote on and I believe many vote “no” just because they have the ability to do so. School Districts that are prudent in their spending should not have to ask for permission from an apathetic voting public that is looking to do anything to cut their tax dollar.
We don’t get to say how our money is spent in our local town, Trenton or Washington so why should the school budget be the lone scapegoat from an unhappy public.
While it’s often and unpaid and thankless job serving on a school board is an important position and by moving the election to November more of the voting public will no doubt have a say in the process. Yes there is some downside as it will make for a lot of election choices in some years and it could bring partisan politics into the educational mix but the truth is that’s always existed to some extent. The positive appears to far outweigh the negative and now it’s up to the State Senate to approve the bill which they are expected to do. Once that happens New Jersey will have taken a step in the right direction
Monday, May 19, 2008
Graduation Day
Without question the most popular picture location at Penn State University is the Nittany Lion Shrine on the west end of the University Park campus. It’s a 13-ton block of Indiana limestone that was molded into the most recognizable symbol of Penn State and has stood near the Recreation Building since 1942. We took a picture there of my son Brandon and daughter Alex in August of 2004 when we dropped him off for school and pledged to recreate it at graduation…fortunately Mother Nature cooperated.
Brandon was one of 1,086 graduates of the College of Health and Human Development to receive their degrees Saturday afternoon in the Bryce Jordan Center…this was just one of the 13 ceremonies held on campus over the weekend. We joined thousands of parents, relatives and friends in the 90-minute program with all of us waiting anxiously to hear the only name we really cared about….sort of a final proof that they really did graduate. The forecast called for thunderstorms most of the afternoon but except for a brief drizzle or two we had a pretty good day so after the commencement we were able to take pictures at the bronze statue of football Coach Joe Paterno outside Beaver Stadium and of course the Nittany Lion Shrine. We were not alone and waited for about a half-hour to recreate the picture of my son and daughter…he of course in cap and gown.
This was really a last hurrah for the graduating class of 2008 and most did not seem to want it to end. I’ve always had this impression that many young people don’t appreciate how much fun their college days were until much later but I can tell you those I talked to this weekend know these last four years were truly the times of their life. Many are not sure what tomorrow will bring as they search for that first job and even those that have jobs don’t know what to expect from the real world.
It’s called growing up and it’s the next stage of life. Welcome to it my son!
Brandon was one of 1,086 graduates of the College of Health and Human Development to receive their degrees Saturday afternoon in the Bryce Jordan Center…this was just one of the 13 ceremonies held on campus over the weekend. We joined thousands of parents, relatives and friends in the 90-minute program with all of us waiting anxiously to hear the only name we really cared about….sort of a final proof that they really did graduate. The forecast called for thunderstorms most of the afternoon but except for a brief drizzle or two we had a pretty good day so after the commencement we were able to take pictures at the bronze statue of football Coach Joe Paterno outside Beaver Stadium and of course the Nittany Lion Shrine. We were not alone and waited for about a half-hour to recreate the picture of my son and daughter…he of course in cap and gown.
This was really a last hurrah for the graduating class of 2008 and most did not seem to want it to end. I’ve always had this impression that many young people don’t appreciate how much fun their college days were until much later but I can tell you those I talked to this weekend know these last four years were truly the times of their life. Many are not sure what tomorrow will bring as they search for that first job and even those that have jobs don’t know what to expect from the real world.
It’s called growing up and it’s the next stage of life. Welcome to it my son!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Proud Dad
This weekend is a special one to me for a couple of very different reasons.
Today my father celebrates his 80th birthday although knowing him it’s more like observing the occasion then celebrating. A man who has certainly experienced life’s “ups and downs” he is a survivor which says as much about his generation than anything else. His happiness is derived more with how his children and grandchildren are doing and his sadness is that most of his best friends have passed on and he no longer has them to share stories with. Fortunately we still have him….or should I say he has us to tell those stories too. Happy Birthday Dad.
This weekend will find us away to celebrate a major milestone in the life our son Brandon as he graduates from Penn State University. Like it or not I’m going to talk about the event itself on Monday because it is one that has great significance as it’s the end of one stage in a young person’s life and the beginning of another. My wife and I witnessed great changes in our son from the boy who graduated high school in 2004 to the young man who finished college four years later. Those changes were all positive…not that there weren’t bumps in the road because there were. However they were minor and I know there will not be two prouder parents in State College this weekend than us. Of course the scene we will witness this weekend is one that will has been or will be experienced by many of you and no doubt you’ll say and feel many of the same emotions. I toast all the parents of this year’s college graduates for a job well down.
Today my father celebrates his 80th birthday although knowing him it’s more like observing the occasion then celebrating. A man who has certainly experienced life’s “ups and downs” he is a survivor which says as much about his generation than anything else. His happiness is derived more with how his children and grandchildren are doing and his sadness is that most of his best friends have passed on and he no longer has them to share stories with. Fortunately we still have him….or should I say he has us to tell those stories too. Happy Birthday Dad.
This weekend will find us away to celebrate a major milestone in the life our son Brandon as he graduates from Penn State University. Like it or not I’m going to talk about the event itself on Monday because it is one that has great significance as it’s the end of one stage in a young person’s life and the beginning of another. My wife and I witnessed great changes in our son from the boy who graduated high school in 2004 to the young man who finished college four years later. Those changes were all positive…not that there weren’t bumps in the road because there were. However they were minor and I know there will not be two prouder parents in State College this weekend than us. Of course the scene we will witness this weekend is one that will has been or will be experienced by many of you and no doubt you’ll say and feel many of the same emotions. I toast all the parents of this year’s college graduates for a job well down.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
9th Inning Of Senior Year
Over many years I have praised, complimented and saluted hundreds if not thousands of student-athletes for their accomplishments on the field, in the classroom and in the community. This morning I pay tribute to the parents,
who are more often than not directly responsible for the success of their children. Sure there are many cases in which children and young adults succeed despite less than ideal circumstances at home but it’s more likely
that they are products of strong and supportive families.
As I watched the Ocean County Baseball Tournament semifinal game between Toms River South and Toms River North last night at FirstEnergy Park I noticed how hard it is for parents with a son playing in a high-pressure game. Actually the pressure doesn’t get to the players nearly as much as Mom and Dad who often pace back-and-forth during the course of a game. This is often magnified if their son is a senior because they know for many that years of playing sports is about to come to an end. All those trips to practice and games from the time they were just about old enough to hold a bat and throw a ball. Standing out there in the rain and cold as well as the heat and humidity. How many visits to the sports store for equipment and uniforms and countless stops at the convenience store for water and Gatorade. Family trips were often long weekends at a tournament of some kind…all the while dealing with failure and success, tears of joy and sorrow
because after all this is your child so it really hits home.
By the way South beat North 3-1 in an exciting and tense 8-inning game and when it was over players shook hands on the field while some parents did the same in the stands. The South contingent will be back at the home of the BlueClaws to face surprising Brick Memorial in the Ocean County Tournament Final on May 24th. It will be another big moment for the players as well as their families.
who are more often than not directly responsible for the success of their children. Sure there are many cases in which children and young adults succeed despite less than ideal circumstances at home but it’s more likely
that they are products of strong and supportive families.
As I watched the Ocean County Baseball Tournament semifinal game between Toms River South and Toms River North last night at FirstEnergy Park I noticed how hard it is for parents with a son playing in a high-pressure game. Actually the pressure doesn’t get to the players nearly as much as Mom and Dad who often pace back-and-forth during the course of a game. This is often magnified if their son is a senior because they know for many that years of playing sports is about to come to an end. All those trips to practice and games from the time they were just about old enough to hold a bat and throw a ball. Standing out there in the rain and cold as well as the heat and humidity. How many visits to the sports store for equipment and uniforms and countless stops at the convenience store for water and Gatorade. Family trips were often long weekends at a tournament of some kind…all the while dealing with failure and success, tears of joy and sorrow
because after all this is your child so it really hits home.
By the way South beat North 3-1 in an exciting and tense 8-inning game and when it was over players shook hands on the field while some parents did the same in the stands. The South contingent will be back at the home of the BlueClaws to face surprising Brick Memorial in the Ocean County Tournament Final on May 24th. It will be another big moment for the players as well as their families.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School
There is no faster way to spread something inaccurate than via the internet.
Sometimes the fallout from that is very serious but in this case it’s just a matter of giving Bill Gates credit where credit was not due. Making its way to my email was a blub called “The Wisdom of Bill Gates” and it’s supposedly from a speech that Gates made at a high school in which he talked about 11 things students did not and will not learn in school. While it’s entertaining and thought-provoking it’s not from a speech that Gates or any other person made. Rather it’s from books written by author/writer and talk show host Charles J. Sykes with the latest being “50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School.”
Among them in abbreviated version:
· Life is not fair. Get used to it.
· The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock.
· Sorry, you won’t make $60,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice-president and you may even have to wear
a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.
* If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He
doesn’t have tenure so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you
screw up; he’s not going to ask you how you feel about it.
· Television is NOT real life. Your problems will not all be solved
in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials.
· Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents
had a different word for burger-flipping…they called it opportunity.
· Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they are
now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning your room and
listening to you tell them how idealistic you are.
· Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school’s a bother
and life is depressing. Someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.
· Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life
hasn’t. Despite the wishful thinking of the therapists, counselors and moon-rock peddlers, life does involve competition.
* After you graduate, you won’t be competing against rivals who were
raised to be wimps on the playground.
* Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Sometimes the fallout from that is very serious but in this case it’s just a matter of giving Bill Gates credit where credit was not due. Making its way to my email was a blub called “The Wisdom of Bill Gates” and it’s supposedly from a speech that Gates made at a high school in which he talked about 11 things students did not and will not learn in school. While it’s entertaining and thought-provoking it’s not from a speech that Gates or any other person made. Rather it’s from books written by author/writer and talk show host Charles J. Sykes with the latest being “50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School.”
Among them in abbreviated version:
· Life is not fair. Get used to it.
· The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock.
· Sorry, you won’t make $60,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice-president and you may even have to wear
a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.
* If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He
doesn’t have tenure so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you
screw up; he’s not going to ask you how you feel about it.
· Television is NOT real life. Your problems will not all be solved
in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials.
· Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents
had a different word for burger-flipping…they called it opportunity.
· Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they are
now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning your room and
listening to you tell them how idealistic you are.
· Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school’s a bother
and life is depressing. Someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.
· Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life
hasn’t. Despite the wishful thinking of the therapists, counselors and moon-rock peddlers, life does involve competition.
* After you graduate, you won’t be competing against rivals who were
raised to be wimps on the playground.
* Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
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