Commissioner Of Decorations

While I understand that many like to continue the spirit of Christmas after December 25th we need some guidelines and restrictions when it comes to outside decorations for not only this….but all holidays. While I’m not looking for “Big Brother” to intervene there is a time when you need to move on and we’ve just about reached that date for icicle lights, inflatable Santa Clauses and Rudolph and his fellow Reindeers. We’ve past Little Christmas, Feast of the Epiphany and other Christmas-related observances so what are you waiting for? I understand
that Christmas is a somewhat magical time but by prolonging the holiday you’re only making it tougher to except this rather depressing period which most of us must suffer through. So with all of that said I would like to appoint myself the Commissioner of the newly-created Department of Outside Holiday Decorations…what you do inside and out of my view is your business.

• Christmas- Thanksgiving to January 15th with some flexibility if a snowstorm makes it difficult to take decorations and lights down.
No inflatable to rise under any circumstances after January
15th.
• Valentine’s Day- January 15th to February 15th. It’s bad enough some
without a love in their life have to endure this horrible day, why should
they have to be reminded after it’s over. Take them down immediately.
• St. Patrick’s Day- February 22-March 19th. Nothing should go up before
President’s Day and I would allow an extra day to take down because if
you’re Irish you might have a headache on the 18th.
• Easter- This is somewhat tricky because the date can vary tremendously.
This year Easter is not until April 24th so what I would do in this case is
allow for a March 21st start because that’s the first day of spring. Everything
must be removed a week after Easter Sunday.
• Memorial Day and July 4th are marked by patriotic displays and flags so there will be no restrictions at all.
• Halloween- October 1st to November 1st…no exceptions.
• Thanksgiving- Anytime after Halloween to before Christmas decorations are displayed.

As for the penalty for violations. First I would issue a warning with a 7-day extension to take decorations down. If that didn’t do the trick then the local Public Works Department would remove them at the homeowners cost. It’s time to get serious folks about this and as your Commissioner I will do just that.