Every once in a while I go back into the archives for a radio version of a re-run and today is one of those. Feeling a desire and need to bring a smile to your face…at least I hope so here are some things to ponder:
1. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
2. If people from Poland are called “Poles,” why aren’t those from Holland called “Holes?
3. Ever wonder about those who spend $2.00 on a little bottle of Evian water?
Do you know what you get when you spell Evian backwards? NAÏVE.
4. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?
5. If FedEx and UPS were to merge would they called it Fed Up?
6. If the commercial is right and 4 out of 5 people suffer from Diarrhea does that mean one person actually enjoys it?
7. Do those who work for Lipton Tea take coffee breaks?
8. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
9. What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?
10. Did you ever notice when you put “The” and “IRS” together it spells…”THEIRS?”
11. Why do they put pictures of criminals in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be de-lighted, musicians de-noted, cowboys de-ranged, models de-posed, tree surgeons de-barked and dry cleaners de-pressed?
13. If most mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks does that mean Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
14. Did you ever notice that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
15. Do you think more and more people read the Bible as they get older because it’s like cramming for a final exam?
I hope you smiled at least once….if not then you are in for a rough day.
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