Real Vs. Fake

Nothing against artificial Christmas trees but in our house it’s real or it’s not a tree. I’m sure just about everyone at one time or another has had a live tree but you may have forgotten the challenge that sometimes comes with putting one up. We in the Williams Family have had a somewhat checkered past when it comes to the real deal but continue to write new chapters as opposed to taking the easy way out and going artificial.

For quite a while the problem was always the tree stand. You might remember that years ago they pretty much made only lightweight ones which were fine for a tree with a small or average base. However we would usually end up with Douglas-firs in which the base did not fit into the stand and often I would have to chop away at the bottom with a saw or even an axe to make it smaller. We would then squeeze it into the stand but usually there was simply too much weight and alternative measures were needed. The height of what seemed like annual adventure came in 1992 when our children were 7 and 1. We finally got the tree up and decorated but in the wee hours my wife Jane awoke to the sound of the tree crashing to the floor. It was utter chaos as we first had to clean the mess and then try and get it back up and re-decorated. We managed to do this without waking the kids and everything seemed in control. I showered, dressed and left for work but just as I was backing the car out of the driveway Jane opened the door and screamed to me “it fell again.” I could go on and on but my eventual solution was to nail the tree stand right into the floor through the carpet.

Things have improved dramatically because they now make these heavy duty stands which can hold a redwood. The last few years have been smooth sailing but this year we ran into a different obstacle. We put our tree up last week but usually wait a day before decorating. Jane was concerned that the tree was not taking any water so after 4-5 days and fearing a fire hazard she insisted we return the tree which we did last night to the place where we’ve purchased them for about 20 years. The owner explained that because the Douglas-fir she purchased had been cut that day and came right off the truck it would not need or take any water for a week or two but it didn’t matter. We now have a Fraser fir standing in our living room which will be decorated tonight…I think. Artificial may be easy but it comes without any adventure plus it doesn’t smell like a Christmas tree. Maybe next year we should try for the Festivus Pole.