If I Ran The World...

If ever there was a time when we need some creative ideas to make the world a more perfect place it is now. So here are some changes I recently came across which could certainly benefit most, if not all of us. Oh did I mention this is really for men!

• Carpentry, plumbing and electrical courses should be mandatory
for all boys in middle school.
• There should not be any bathroom attendants.
• Movie reviewers would be forbidden to call a movie the funniest
of the year until the following year.
• All base runners would score on a ground-rule double.
• Caddies would be prohibited on the pro golf tour. No other
athlete has a butler on the field with them and players should be able to figure out on their own what clubs to use.
• Jennifer Aniston would replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.
• All gutters would self-clean.
• Every fifth year would be free of federal income taxes and all of the following would be tax deductible….TV sports packages, alcoholic
beverages, poker losses and tickets to concerts and sporting events.
• Those little ketchup and mustard packets would be twice as big and
Easier to open.
• Women would start with the climax of their stories and then go back
To fill in the details but only if we ask.
• Parent-teacher nights would come with nachos and tequila shooters.
• Singing “Happy Birthday” at the office would result in immediate termination.
• If you set out to climb some huge mountain wearing shorts, a tee short and boots but then have to be rescued by 12 men, two helicopters and a team of huskies you have to repay the cost of being an idiot.
• Parents would strive to give their children self-reliance instead of self-esteem.
• Volunteering to put sunscreen on women would finally be seen for what it is….community service in cancer prevention.