10 Beach Commandments

Since summer has arrived it’s time to bring out an oldie but a goodie….the real rules of the beach. When I say “real rules” these are the ones that are not posted anywhere but probably should me. Much of this is common sense but we know there’s a genuine lack of that everywhere and the white sands are no exception. While the 2nd Avenue Beach in Seaside Park is sacred ground to me to others it’s just the place they end up and it holds no special significance. However they should live by my 10 beach commandments:

1. This is not Coney Island or Jones Beach so seek space between yourself and those nearby. It’s one thing to “love thy
neighbor”…its another to sit right on top of him.
2. Your music should be for your listening pleasure…not mine.
3. I’m an expert on the tides and plan accordingly. This does not mean
you should sit right in front of me so I can view your back up close
for six hours. Plus, the chances are you’ll get wiped out by a wave
sooner or later because you have no idea what you’re doing.
4. The beach is a family place but when your children walk over my
blanket and knock down my cup of coffee can you do more than
just smile?
5. Wear the bathing suit that fits your body. This is for both men and
women….some of you obviously don’t have mirrors in your home
or summer rental. There is a reason why half your body is hanging
out so wear a bathing suit in which you can tuck it in.
6. Don’t argue with the lifeguards…they probably know the water
conditions just a bit better than you. Plus when they do jump in and rescue you don’t tell them you’re really a good swimmer and just wanted to get a better look at the shoreline from far away.
7. That long lounge chair that looks great in your backyard really looks
lame and stupid on the beach.
8. I’ve never been able to figure out the digging thing, especially with
fathers and sons. However if you want to spend hours digging holes can you at least fill them in when you leave?
9. Place disposable diapers in a bag and then throw them in the garbage.
10. If these rules don’t meet with your approval then please spend your
next beach day at Coney Island or Jones Beach…you’ll be right at home.