Remembering Friends

As I waited in line with hundreds of other mourners Monday at Anderson & Campbell Funeral Home in Toms River the last thing I expected to be talking about this morning was the viewing for 20-year old Matthew Budesa. He of course was one of three young people killed last week when a car crashed into Pine Beach Elementary School…the school Budesa and his three older brothers attended as youngsters.

I waited in line for an hour before paying my respects and in that time I heard and saw quite a bit. What struck me more than anything was the reaction of young people, most of whom were probably Matt’s friends. I would imagine this was the first time many had attended a viewing for someone their age and clearly there was no way they could prepare for the moment. It’s certainly not the same as when you lose a grandparent who may be in their 80’s because that’s supposed to happen. However here were teen-agers in front of a casket and looking at someone they might have just been with a week ago, healthy and apparently happy. The finality of the moment was just too much for some of them to handle because honestly young people often think they are indestructible even when parents and adults caution that life is precious and never to be taken for granted. The scenes I witnessed yesterday were and will be repeated at the viewings for the other two lives lost in this horrific tragedy in which there are more questions than answers. We will know more in days and weeks ahead…now is the time for grieving for families that could not possibly imagine they would be saying goodbye to children, brothers and sisters.

On a somewhat related note I was saddened to learn of the passing of Bud Aldrich, a former Mayor and Committeeman in what was then Dover Township. The 66-year old was a true community servant and had a great sense of humor along with a gravelly voice that could take command of a room. I got to know Bud when we worked together on the annual 4th of July Fireworks in Beachwood and he would offer his help whenever and wherever he could. Just a hard-working family guy with a passion for his community as well as the Boy Scouts and Ocean County YMCA. Toms River has lost one of the good ones.