The Enforcer

Most of you probably have no idea that part of my job title here at WOBM is Vice President of Quality Control.

I won’t try and explain exactly what that means and I think there are some who believe I’m the Head Janitor or Groundskeeper because at times I’m obsessed with seemingly trivial things that drive me crazy. Well I raised some eyebrows when I sent out an email addressing what I perceive as a growing problem for not just us but society…the use of the “F word.”
Now I don’t want you to think we are a bunch of gutter-talking Neanderthals who throw vulgar words around in every conversation because we are not. However as one of the elders I have noticed that the use of the “F word” has certainly increased over the years and because we work in relatively close quarters it’s heard far too often in the office. I admit to being among the violators and since I have the authority and yes power to do something about it I am.

Last week I sent out an email to everyone who works in our Bayville office addressing what I perceive as a concern more than a major problem. I also felt that just asking people to watch their language wasn’t good enough…there had to be a penalty to fit the crime. So I instituted a fine that would be assessed every time someone uttered what was at one time was a word never used and now has become to some just another adjective or verb. This week only it will cost you a quarter if you slip and drop what’s known as an “F bomb” and we have customized a large plastic jar in which violators are to drop their fines in. However that’s just for this week which I have called a transition period because once we return after the holiday weekend the fine is going up to a dollar for a vulgar holler.

Enforcement clearly is going to be a problem because I can’t hear everything that takes place in this building. I have asked that we all monitor one another but I’m getting the sense that some don’t think I’m serious…which I am. I have watched over the years as society has become more accepting of foul language which now doesn’t even shock anyone and can be heard on regular TV on a daily basis. However I think there is a line which should not be crossed and I am drawing a line in the sand with the “F word.” I’m trying to sell people, especially those that are younger that this is also for their benefit because what’s happening is many just use a bad word when they can’t come up with anything to express their frustration or anger. Well they better expand their vocabulary because at a buck a throw it’s going to get expensive around here for frequent violators. My name is Kevin Williams and I am the Vice President of Quality Control…don’t push me.