Okay I admit it….this is an oldie but goodie because frankly it just seems like a good time to bring this one back about creative ideas to make the world a better place for us Men to live in:
• Women would start with the climax of their stories and then go back to fill in the details…but only if we ask.
• All gutters would self-clean.
• There should not be any bathroom attendants.
• Carpentry, plumbing and electrical courses should be mandatory for all boys in middle school.
• All base runners would score on a ground-rule double.
• Caddies would be prohibited on the pro golf tour. No other athlete has a butler on the field with them and players should be able to figure out on their own what clubs to use.
• Movie reviewers would be forbidden to call a movie “the funniest of the year” until after the year was over.
• Every fifth year would be free of federal income tax and all of the following would be tax deductible….TV sports packages, alcoholic beverages, poker losses and tickets to sporting events and concerts.
• Jennifer Aniston would replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.
• If you set out to climb some huge mountain wearing shorts, a tee shirt and boots but then have to be rescued by 12 men, two helicopters and a team of huskies you have to repay the cost of being an idiot.
• Singing “Happy Birthday” in the office would result in immediate termination.
• Those little ketchup and mustard packets would be twice as big and much easier to open.
• Parent-teacher nights would come with nachos and tequila shooters.
• Parents would strive to give their children self-reliance instead of self-esteem.
• Volunteering to put sunscreen on women would finally be seen for what it truly is…community service in cancer prevention.
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