10 Beach Commandments

I mentioned yesterday that it might be time for me to bring out my rules of beach etiquette and today is indeed the day. My 10 beach commandments really should be posted throughout the Jersey Shore and while much of this is common sense we know there is a genuine lack of that everywhere and the white sands are no exception. Locals and visitors alike should live by my beach commandments and feel free to quote me on these:

1. This is not Coney Island or Jones Beach in New York so seek space between yourself and those nearby. Its one thing to “love thy neighbor”…it’s another to sit right on top of them.
2. I’m an expert on the tides and plan accordingly. If you don’t bother to check
out the times of high and low tide then be advised there’s a good chance you
are getting wiped out and that is not the time for you to drag you wet blanket right on top of me.
3. The beach is certainly a family place but when your unattended children
walk over my blanket and knock down by cup of coffee can you do more than just smile?
4. That long lounge chair that looks great in your backyard really looks lame and stupid on the beach.
5. Wear the bathing suit that fits your body. This is for both men and women
as some obviously don’t have mirrors in their home or rental. There is a reason why half your body is hanging out so wear a bathing suit in which you can at least tuck it in.
6. I’ve never been able to figure out the digging thing, especially with fathers and sons. However if you want to spend hours digging holes can you at least fill them in when you leave so nobody falls in one.
7. Please place disposable diapers in a bag and then throw them in the garbage promptly.
8. Don’t argue with the lifeguards…they probably know the water conditions just a bit better than you. Plus when they do jump in and rescue you don’t lie to them and say you’re a great swimmer and you just wanted to get a better look at the shoreline from far away.
9. For some reason guys who never play football bring them to the beach and insist on tossing them around in the middle of big crowds…I think they feel it’s attractive to women. Well unless your last name is Manning try and do this in open space.
10. If these rules don’t meet with your approval then please send your next beach day at Coney Island or Jones Beach…you’ll be right at home.